Walt's Corner

My usual spot for a cut is Regular Joe’s. Unless I peek my head in and see a roomful of customers waiting; then it’s Yes We Do. They ask for my phone number and know exactly how I want it. There are currently 2 people there that I prefer just because they are the ones who usually cut my hair and know my eccentricities.

Today went down differently. For those who don’t know me, I don’t like different. Some new dude is there. Obviously new. And shadowing another stylist. Not good. He’s the one who calls me up. Fine. I ask if he’s any good with scissor, because I don’t like the clippers. Claims he is. He asks, “How would you like your hair done, boss?” I reply, “Same as always,” and proceed to explain, as I’m sure it’s written down on the slip of paper that has my name on it. That’s how Regular Joe’s works. So you don’t have to explain what you want on each and every visit.

Right off the bat, he turns into Machine Gun Inquisitor. How’s your day so far? What are your plans for today? Plans for the Super Bowl? Where are you from? How long have you been in El Paso? What brought you to El Paso? Why did you stay in El Paso? You didn’t like Orlando?

I give short, courteous, to the point answers. Good. This. Might watch it – who is playing? Orlando. Since 1996. The Army. I like it. No. Jesus H. Christ, what is this? The Spanish Inquisition? Can’t a mufucka just get a haircut in peace?

Those last three sentences were in my head. At least I think/hope. What I did say was “No more conversation please,” to which he responded, “What?” I repeated myself, “No more conversation please.” To his credit, the only other words from his mouth were relevant to my haircut.  He finished my hair. Pretty good job at it, too. Gave me my shampoo, I paid, left him my customary $10 tip and left. Headed back to my cigar lounge to roast another pound of coffee, sip some whiskey, smoke a cigar, and memorialize this interaction on Walt’s Corner.

I’m an introvert. Living through the pandemic forced others to live my life. The difference is, I choose this life. I enjoy this life. Interacting with humans is exhausting. The older I get the less I’m willing to put up with unnecessary conversation.