I’m the One that Emailed You Yesterday

I love those people. They’ll knock on my office door and say, “I’m John. The one that emailed you yesterday?” Like it’s a question or something. Or, “I’m Jane. We talked on the phone last week.”


<checks email>

243 emails last week. Just at work. Yeah, I ain’t gonna remember you.

The best one happened today though. Phone rings. I answer.

Stranger: Is this Mr Walters?

Me: This is Walter Basil.

Stranger: This is Joey Bonniefoofoo. <changed name to protect the stupid>

Me: How can I help you Mr. Bonniefoofoo?

Stranger, er… Joey: It’s me, Joey Bonniefoofoo.

Me: <rolls eyes, Robert Downy Jr. style> Yes?

Joey: You gave me your business card in 2009. I had asked you about….<edited to keep you from dying of boredom because this is some really boring, complicated shit about the relationship between some federal-in-nature money and non-federal-in-nature money and… see? Your eyes are glazing over right now> …and anyways, I was just going through my wallet and found your card and wanted to call up and see if you are still there!

Me: Yup. I’m still here.

So this guy really thought I’d remember him from 2009. Buddy, I won’t remember the dude I saw this morning out of the 17 phone calls, 24 emails, and 14 in-person clients* I took care of. Unless you slapped me. I’d remember that motherfucker. Just asked Chris Rock.

*Actual statistics from before lunch today.