Couple Visits Every Texas Roadhouse and Realizes It’s Just as Shitty as the Last One
Being the slow news day that it was, this story somehow made the news. You know, tucked squarely between the CEO headhunter being caught and our own Walmart shooter case being delayed yet again, someone thought we needed to know about some couple’s quest for hitting up every restaurant because it’s not fine dining and more or less average food – something they’d make at home. I mean, I don’t want to steal anyone’s sunshine, so if your dream is to work 45 years so you can retire and spend your retirement savings/time visiting mediocre at best restaurants, don’t let me stop you. This is America. Live that dream, baby.
“The food is like home cooking to us,” Judy McNamara said. “We don’t like fancy cuisine or fine dining. Texas Roadhouse fits the bill of good country home cooking and is family-oriented.”
I don’t eat steak outside my house for two reasons. First, it probably won’t be as good as mine. Second, if it is, then I’m about to be fucked in the wallet. Ain’t happening. I’m looking at you, Cattleman’s Steakhouse at Indian Cliffs Ranch. Seriously? $46 for a 10 0z fillet mignon meal that costs me $7 to make at the house that is just as good, if not better. $70 for a porter house? GTFO. But hey, if you’re looking for a good steak, this is the one to try if you come to El Paso.
Texas Roadhouse falls into the first category. They make an average steak. I could boil a steak that tastes better. Well, maybe not. Fact: if someone claims this is the best steak they’ve ever had, they’ve never had a good steak. They’ve only had average or worse. Another fact: I have eaten at this very restaurant this article mentions. The only place where I’ve had a bone in my pulled pork sandwich.
You’re safe ordering the burger. I think. Oh, and the rolls are great. Worth traveling the country for when you can get them in your local Texas Roadhouse? That’s for you to decide. Also, always great to see that Texas flag flying high regardless of what state you’re in.
When I’m cooking my steak, I treat it like Jesus. Because this bovine died for me, for reals.