Grumpy Old Manspeak
Today, I ventured out into modern civilization. I am not one to leave my loop and improvise efficiently.
What’s my loop?
Wake up.
Go to work.
Go home with maybe a pit-stop to the grocery store for some fresh vegetables for the night’s dinner.
Make dinner.
Libations.
Watch some TV. <– here is the basis for its own article. It’s like dialing someone on the phone.
Give the girls their nightly treats.
Floss and brush my teeth.
Read a book until I can’t keep my eyes open.
Go to sleep.
Repeat 4 more times.
Dinner with Carol (and maybe some friends) at Las Palmas Mexican Restaurant Friday evening if we are in town.
Enjoy my weekend.
That’s my loop and I enjoy it. Sometimes the loop will vary with 3 or 4-day weekends. Those are probably FTX’s (Field Training eXcercises, or camping). In the summer it can vary greatly on the weekends with trips to the Sacramento Mountains since we live so close and provides a welcome, cool break from the oppressive summer heat here in El Paso.
My weekends have a loop as well that usually includes a trip to the RV storage to check on our Lance, Harbor Freight, and grocery stores.
That’s it. The point is, we rarely go outside that loop and that is the way I like it. Simple. Predictable. I don’t have to deal with people. We don’t go out for the sake of going out. I’d rather stay at home and enjoy the environment we’ve created for our lives.
Which brings me to today’s story. I wanted to get Carol some new AirPods and I wanted them today. I did some looking around from the comfort of my iPad and picked out a pair from the Apple Store. If I wanted them today I could pick them up locally at our Apple Store in the Cielo Vista Mall. Fine. I’ll exit my loop and pick them up while I ventured out to Harbor Freight and the grocery store.
The mall was packed. 10am, on a Saturday, and it was absolutely packed. I had to park at the end, enter through Macy’s. Didn’t these fuckers shut down their stores? Maybe that’s why there was even parking near Macy’s. The least visited store of the mall.
Walking through the main hallway of the mall there are all these vendors selling various odds and ends. Phone cases. Jewelry. Shoes? Yes there was a vendor selling shoes, I guess. What appeared to be some youthful 17-18 year old points down to my Jesus sandals and asks if my shoes were dirty, and was that why I was wearing these. “No. I left them at your mother’s last night and this was all I could find,” I replied. Probably in my inside voice. Maybe not. I find myself caring less what people think of me the older I get.
Not quite remembering if the Apple Store is on the 1st or 2nd floor, I stop by a touchscreen information kiosk to verify. No dice. The touchscreen ain’t working. Figures. I pass another kiosk on the way with the same results. Whatever happened to the tried and true map display? I guess with how fast today’s shops come and go, it probably makes sense to go with a digital one that can be updated 3 times a week as needed. I take my chances and guess that the Apple Store is on the 1st floor and continue on. Thank fuck for that.
I proceeded to the pick up area inside the Apple Store let an associate know I was there. Within a minute my new AirPods were brought out. I asked if they had cases for these AirPods 4. She acknowledged that they did and proceeded to introduce me to another associate who showed me where they were. Carol likes purple so I picked out a purple case and the associate started to check me out, in the salesman-way, not the biblical sense. I whip out my Titanium Apple Card and the associate tells me that if I wanted I could use Apple Pay to charge it to that card and I’d be contributing 10% of the sale to something something. No fucking clue what it was, but sure. Why not. Let’s do it.
He holds his phone out to me like it’s a Tricorder and he is trying to determine if I have a phage. So I pull out my iPhone and look at it. I’m expecting something to pop up on my screen. Nothing does. Then he shows me that I have to tap a button twice on my iPhone. I tap it twice and complete the sale. He tells me I must not use Apple Pay much. Nah, bitch. I use it all the time. On websites. Or giving someone money through Messages. I don’t use it a brick and mortar store. Again, probably my inside voice.
He hands me his phone and tells me to put in my name and email address. MF. Didn’t I just pay with Apple Pay? And you’re telling me it didn’t use my name and email from it like it does at all the websites I use it at? Would have been much easier to just use the Titanium card when I first handed it to you.
Sturdy little Apple bag in hand, I leave the store and walk back towards Macy’s. I pass that shoe vendor again. Shit. He recognizes me. “You sure you don’t want some shoes?”
“No thanks. I’ll be back at your mom’s tonight. She’ll have them cleaned.”