Walt's Corner

This was a secret feature, at least for me. I figured it out on my own because it practically reach out and slapped me in the face.

For those who don’t know, an iPad can magnetically attach to an Apple Magic Keyboard and you get the full “laptop” experience of keyboard and trackpad. At least I can. My computing power requirements are quite low. The most computer intensive thing I do these days is this blog. Matter of fact I haven’t owned or used a real personal computer or laptop in over 10 years. Feels kind of liberating.

Which brings me to the subject of today’s post. The mouse – or trackpad pointer, whatever you want to call it – can be easy to lose for my aging eyesight. Where is that thing? So you know what you do – you shake the finger back and forth real quick-like so your eyes might pick up that movement and reveal the secret location of your pointer.

There I was moving my finger back and forth over the trackpad, when lo and behold IT GREW! Faster than a 20 year old’s penis on boner pills. In the picture above, I took a screenshot of the large pointer and held my current regular pointer just underneath for size comparison.

Well done, Apple.

Been wet shaving for years. Lately I’ve been doing some interweb sleuthing. Deep diving into the seedy underground of wet shaving. Broadening my shaving horizon by trying out other shaving soaps.

One artisan company that caught my eye was Phoenix Artisan Accoutrements. Phoenix makes their own soaps and other accessories and there are many to choose from.

I’ve always wanted to try a menthol-laced shaving soap but had my reservations from past experiences with Amazon purchases. Before Phoenix, the best mentholated experience I had was Proraso, however, I wanted more cool. It was basically a cool-tease.

Enter Frost Byte, from Phoenix. Fans praised the icy-coldness. One telling me “This stuff is super strong! But I love it.” Another, “Frost Byte, let’s just say we hope you like it cold, because Frost Byte is super chill.” My normal shaving soaps can run from $2-12. Frost Byte weighs in at just south of $21 but I broke down and waited.

How did it stack up? In the words of Sub-Zero: Your blood runs cold. Your teeth will shatter. Cold enough for you? Your bones will freeze. Let the cold be your tomb. Ability: Freeze.

I think you get the point. This shit is amazingly chill. First pass I was like, alright now. I can feel that cold. 2nd pass? I was expecting my brush to stiffen and freeze to my face like tongue on a frozen lamp pole while singing Christmas Carols at Fort Wainwright, Alaska. By this time, the shave was already BBS (Baby Bottom Smooth, for those not versed in shaving lingo) but I had to know what that 3rd pass would feel like in terms of the cold. It did not disappoint. In fact, it was shocking! After a hot rinse, followed by a cold rinse, hoooo boy! It felt like I was holding a slab of ice to my cheeks. The final splash of some icy cool Aqua Velva was the final touch. A most satisfying shave.

Other aspects of this shave? Razor is a Rockwell T2 SS with Rockwell DE blade. Brush is a Simpson T2. The Rockwell razor is a new edition to my razor collection. More on that in a different post.

The no spoiler part. Keep reading until you get to the part that warns of spoilers. You are safe.

As with most really cool TV shows and movies, I’m a latecomer to this block party. I started seeing all the memes appear and had to go deep undercover to figure out what they mean and where they came from.

The Ed Gein Story is no different. As I write this particular paragraph of this post, I have one more episode to watch. I won’t publish this until after I’ve completed the story. And that is what it is, really. A story. It is not a documentary. Nowhere does it say this shit really happened. If you want facts, go check out the Wikipedia page on Ed Gein. But if you want a good horror story that’s loosely based on some things some guy did, and will probably be the most demented shit you’ll ever see (assuming you’ve never watched a snuff film, because damn – nothing would be more demented than that), go check it out. You won’t be sorry. Currently on Netflix.

Spoiler alert!

Warning, beyond here, there be spoilers.

If you don’t plan on watching it, please continue on. If you plan on watching it, go watch it first then continue.

Still with me? Or back with me?

Cool.

I knew Psycho was based on a true story. I knew the Texas Chainsaw Massacre was based on a true story. I knew Silence of the Lamb – yup, inspired by a true story. What I didn’t know was they were all based on the same person. Or the fact that the person’s name was Ed Gein.

This show does a wonderful job of bringing all 4 events into perspective with each other, while providing you with the necessary elements to keep you on the hook and engaged with the story. And by story I mean fiction. Yes they ad-libbed. They expounded. They filled in the blanks with something only the gods will ever really know. They took what was in real life a totally sick fuck and his unmentionable deeds and breathed the life of a horror story into it.

The show’s producers really could have ended the series with episode 7. Episode 8 was really out there. In my opinion, the only meaningful part of the plot in episode 8 is Gein’s death. Yes he died in the mental hospital from complications of lung cancer, but that really could have been incorporated into Episode 7 and then called it a wrap. He did not assist with any other investigations or help the police catch any other serial killer.

All in all, I thought it was a great watch, if you’re into that type of horror show. I think that anyone who doesn’t watch it because it’s not true is simply missing out on a good story that they would have otherwise loved. Their loss, I guess.

You heard about the incident where the police pulled over a vehicle for making a U-turn in an unauthorized area? Turns out it was one of those new-fangled autonomous vehicles. The officer couldn’t write a ticket because there is no block to check for “robot.”

That got me to thinking. That could be an easy way out of my next ticket. I’ll just slide over into the passenger seat and tell him it wasn’t me. It was my self-driving truck.

I’ll let you know how that works.

As I’m perusing my daily news stories via Apple News and Google News (yes, I use both), I usually come across an article that claims this that or the other about recipes. Most of the time I click on them and I think what an idiot the author is. Like that time someone claimed this expensive Seiko watch was now on sale at Walmart. Total rubbish. Sure it was a nice watch. But no, not one person has ever bought it for over $1000 like the article claimed.

Which takes me to today’s news. I clicked on the story fully expecting to bullshitted. Or is that bullshat? Either way I was pleasantly surprised. It was not bullshit. Why Mexican restaurant salsa always tastes better than homemade. The big reason stated is to use quality veggies and roasting them. You can roast them in a pan, in the oven, on a griddle or on grill. Use a grill and add some wood for smoke. I personally love that smoked salsa, but Carol doesn’t so I don’t do that too often. Alternatively, you could blanch the veggies instead – that is throw them in boiling water instead of roasting. For about 10 minutes. Then blend.

My simple red salsa recipe is Roma tomatoes, jalapeños (or Serranos if needed when jalapeños are not in hot season), red onion, garlic, cilantro, lime juice, and salt. For example, in that order, yesterday I used 5,4, 1/2, 5 cloves, half a bunch, 1, and to taste (probably about a tsp). I roasted the tomatoes, peppers, onion, and garlic on the Weber grill until they had the charred appearance I wanted (lots), transferred the peppers to a ziplock bag so they could steam for about 20 minutes, stemmed everything and transferred whole to my food processor. I don’t even bother to scrape the peppers. Pulsed a few times to get them somewhat chopped. Added the cilantro, squeezed the lime juice and added the salt. Processed on high until it was the consistency I wanted. Perfecto.

That’s just my ratio. And just the start. Play with it. Throw some cilantro leaves on top when done. Add more of one and less of the other. Add more spices if you like. Mexican oregano and cumin are a good start. Try different chiles. Go beyond processing and turn that shit into a red smoothie. Makes a great red sauce. If you do that add some avacado and/or cream to make it more smooth.

If you haven’t already figured out this secret, go ahead and give it a shot. You’ll bring your salsa game up to the next level. Playing around with it by varying the ratios is half the fun of trying out new salsas.

I’d like to say that I have never met a salsa that I didn’t like, but I’d be lying. There was this “Mexican restaurant” in San Angelo, TX we visited that was absolutely horrid. Tasted somewhere between tomato sauce and ketchup. If your salsa is that bad you might as well crack open a jar of Pace or Old El Paso. That would have been preferable over what they were serving. We ended up leaving and going to a Dairy Queen instead for tacos.