Walt's Corner

A day late and a dolla short, as they say. I originally wrote this April of 2014. It just never made it’s way to the Corner.

We give these guys their own special day? COME ON! Everyday is a constant reminder that you’ve got siblings – if you do. It all begins on day one.

In the beginning, there was but one. Me. One child. No attention was divided. Christmas was totally spent on… ME. There was one Grandchild… ME. There was but one rule: I am the son, your child. You shall have no other children but me. For I am a jealous son. But parents, being the humans they are, naturally have a general disregard of rules.

All of a sudden your world is torn apart. There’s this addition to the family. Another child. I learned real quick the meaning of the word ‘share.’ I may not have followed it but I knew what it meant. And I didn’t like it.

Eventually I accepted the status change. I also learned that there were some newly gained advantages to having a sister. Mainly, someone to share the blame with. There’s that word again – share. Only, it’s kind of twisted. In this case, it develops a different meaning. Assign. Give. Before, there were no other children in the household. If that vase was broken and Mom didn’t break it, it had to have been me. But not with siblings in the house. Could’ve been me. Could’ve been her. And with the proper coaxing she’d take the blame. Only we would know for sure. And sometimes… I could be so persuasive, I’d have her BELIEVING that she actually did it. In those few instances… only I knew for sure. Some secrets are taken to the grave.

Eventually more come along and you become somewhat of a gang. Parents are your first structure of society that you are introduced to. They are law, a kind of Parentis Lex and in most cases that Parentis Lex is extended to all adults – especially grandparents. Try pointing your new wooden gun that your grandpa just made you at your grandma and tell her that you’re going to kill her. See what happens. She takes that gun and busts it in two over your ass. Literally. Grandpa has to glue two pieces back together. I never said that again to her. Well, at least back then that authority was extended to other adults. Not so much today. Today’s parents try to be friends instead of Law. We see what that gets us in today’s world. But that’s a different subject than today’s. Today it is about siblings.

My siblings were pretty much the first permanent peers of equal standing that I had. At least equal in other peoples’ eyes if not mine at the time. This is what develops and breeds the bond between siblings. It was us against the world, whether that world was mom and dad or the park across the street. Sure I may have had a couple early childhood friends (Tim comes to mind, who I affectionately named my teddy bear after – Tim Tim) but I didn’t live with them day to day like I did my siblings.

Being the oldest child, I was kind of the gang leader by default. It was OK for me to abuse my siblings, but not cool when others would try. I would have to intervene and I either won or lost those fights, but that was what the brother did. We stuck together and we fought together. We learned valuable life lessons together by watching others’ victories and failures. And there were real life lessons to be learned back in those days in the park.

There were all types of risks involved just playing in the park. No Big Brother Safety to limit playground rides and obstacles due to risk factors assessed. You learned yourself by watching little Walter Moore fall and bounce like a rag doll down the center of the jungle bars from 30 feet up in the air and land on the ground in a bloody, mangled heap. That’s where we learned that it was probably best to hold on with 3 points of contact or more at all times.

Nature had it’s own way of filtering out the less than average intelligent kids. They didn’t survive childhood. Instead, they proved to be those valuable lessons we needed to learn in order to survive this world. Today’s kids aren’t so lucky. The ones who would’ve made those grave mistakes in childhood are now protected by a shelter of safety. Instead of making bad decisions as children and possibly surviving and learning, they have been allowed to live into adulthood and make those bad decisions as adults where now it probably costs them not only their lives but the lives of some of those around them.

So here’s to us kids who survived. I love my siblings. Obviously I’m going to have a more tighter bond with the sister I shared my childhood with than the brother who grew up without the Older Brother Walter’s presence (which probably gave him an advantage the others didn’t have). But I love them both all the same. And I miss Freddy. Not a day goes by where I don’t think of him.

One more funny observation and maybe it’s just me, I don’t know. Whenever I dream of my brothers and sister, it’s as they were as we played as children. Little Ruthie at 10 or 12 years old. Freddy at 8 and 10. That’s how my dreaming mind portrays them. And I savor every memory.

With all the internet growling and resulting responses on GM choosing not to support CarPlay, I had to do some old fashioned research. Like, what the fuck is CarPlay? Also, is CarPlay in my Ram Laramie? Oops. My Luddite is showing.

The answers? Well, to quote from apple.com, “CarPlay gives you the ability to safely use what you love about your iPhone while you drive.” More accurately (methinks) from Wikipedia, “CarPlay is an Apple standard which enables a car radio or head unit to be a display and a controller for an iOS device. It is available on all iPhone models beginning with iPhone 5 running iOS 7.1 or later.”

The answer to my second question… Yes, according to a blog from Dodge Chrysler Jeep of Monroe (wherever they are at), “As of 2017 Apple CarPlay is fully integrated in all Uconnect 8.4” systems. The 4th generation Uconnect system is available in all Dodge, Chrysler, Jeep, and Ram models.”

Let me fully unveil my Ludds here. I have not owned or used a traditional computer for 10 years now. Yeah, you read that. 10. I just did the math. I’m shocked myself. I was thinking it was at several years, at least. But no, 10 years. When the iPad mini 2 came out, It provided me with all the computing power I needed. I was no longer using my laptop. I gave my wife my MacBook Air (which she wouldn’t really use until it was quite necessary to replace her aging MacBook Pro) and never looked back. Currently I use whatever this contraption is. I had to look it up. It’s an iPad Air 4^th Generation with Magic Keyboard. The old mini given to a friend.

Back to topic, CarPlay? I’ll have to list that under Fucks I Don’t Give (FIDG). Any interaction I want to have between my iPhone and my vehicle is single-fold: Play my music or the one podcast I listen to (The GodPod). Guess what? As long as there is bluetooth, that’s gonna happen. I’m perfectly satisfied with the built in navigation system. For those that know me, I travel. A lot. To many places where there is no phone signal. That’s why I’ve come to rely on satellite.

There’ll be the crowd that says “I’M nOt EvEr GoNNa BUy a gM AGaiN.” So what. Don’t buy. That’s your money and your right to spend your money on whatever you want. But just like IDGAF, I’m sure GM gives less. Just like the phone world has divided up into Apple and Android and they are doing just fine, the same is going to happen with vehicles. Until I’m driving around in a GM truck, this is a moot point. If Ram decides to do the same thing, as long as there’s bluetooth, I’ll be a Happy Camper. Literally. Thats what I do. I camp and stuff.

As for me, when driving, I don’t want to take phone calls. I don’t want to take/send texts. That’s why my phone replies with that “Fuck off, I’m Driving” message. Which prompted my boy to text me, “you’re always on the road!.” Yeah. That’s it, son. I’m on the road. 😉 But it was 2 AM, Dad.” Oops, that’s the “Fuck off, I’m Sleeping” message. Oh wait, there is no message. That’s all in my head. I just turn off all notifications.

For those you who want me to shut the fuck up and just give you the damn recipe without the history, here it is. My thoughts and comments follow.

Ingredients

• 1 1/4 cups warm water 105-110˚F
• 1/2 teaspoon active dry yeast
• 1 teaspoon honey
• 1/2 Tablespoon salt
• 420 grams bread flour plus more to dust

Instructions

How to Make Pizza Dough:

• In a small bowl, stir together water, honey, and salt then sprinkle the top with 1/2 tsp yeast and let sit 5 minutes then stir.
• Add the 420 g flour in a large mixing bowl and make a well in the center. Pour yeast mixture into the center then stir with a firm spatula until the dough comes together. Knead by hand 2 minutes (dough will be sticky). Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and let rise at room temperature 4-5 hours or until doubled in size.
• Transfer dough to a floured surface, turn to coat lightly in flour so it isn’t sticky then divide in half. Fold each piece of dough in half 8 times, gently pulling the sides over the center like closing a book, turning the dough each time and repeating for 8 folds. Form a ball in your hands and transfer each piece of dough to a lightly oiled bowl seam-side-down, cover and refrigerate overnight (18 hours) or up to 1 week. If you want pizza sooner than overnight, no big deal. Just let it hang out on the counter in the bowl for an additional hour while your oven is coming up to temperature.

How to Form a Pizza Crust:

• PREP: Remove the dough 1 hour before using to let it relax and come to room temperature. Before forming the pizza crust, fully preheat your oven so pizza can be baked right away. Place a pizza stone or inverted baking sheet onto the center rack of the oven and preheat to 550˚F (or as high as yours will go). Also, lightly flour a pizza peel and prep toppings.
• When dough is about room temperature and oven is preheated, transfer 1 piece of dough to a floured surface, turning to lightly coat in flour. Pat the center of the dough gently with fingertips. DO NOT pop any bubbles present.
• Lift the dough over both knuckles and roll your knuckles under the center of the dough, working outward as you rotate the dough along your knuckles and leaving a thicker crust at the edge. Toss and spin the dough for a more symmetrical crust. Continue working the dough until it is the size you prefer. It will shrink slightly so make it a little bigger than you think. Place the dough down on a floured pizza peel. Give the pizza peel a little shake to make sure the pizza slides over it and is not sticking.
• Spread on desired pizza sauce and toppings. Here’s a link to my own pizza sauce recipe. Give the pizza another jolt to make sure it slides around on the pizza peel (you don’t want it to stick while transferring it into the oven). Slide pizza onto the preheated pizza stone and bake at 500-550˚F for 8-10 minutes or until crust is golden brown and some of the larger bubbles on the crust are lightly scorched to ensure a crisp crust.

My commentary

This is the 2^nd in a series of 3 different pizza crust recipes I have found that I’m sharing. The first recipe was a delicious, thick, chewy, pan pizza crust that is also very good for making breadsticks as well if you reserve a little bit of the dough for that purpose. Pan Pizza is definitely my favorite crust but due to the overnight rising followed by a couple to a few hours proofing, I don’t make it as much as I use this particular recipe. This one still has quite a few hours of rise time, but is certainly doable for me on a weekend. It also freezes and thaws well, allowing me to pull a dough ball from the freezer in the morning prior to heading off to work and store in a loose-covered container sprayed with Pam all day. When I come home from work, it’s ready to stretch and toss. This recipe makes me 4 personal pies, or 2 medium pies. Perfect for just the two of us. I can make a batch, get 2 pies for one night, and freeze 2 more dough balls for a couple pies later. Or just let them proof for up to a week in your fridge.

I can’t remember where I found the foundation for this particular recipe from. I tweaked it a bit to my liking and use. If you think this is your recipe and show me the link and video to where I saw this, I’d be more than happy to provide a credit link here. Just hit me up on the socials or email me.

Pizza. Arguably my all time favorite food in direct competition with tacos. As I look through my daily memories I am guaranteed to see at least one picture of a pizza, tacos, and a healthy pour of some whiskey and a cigar.

Over the years I have come across many recipes for a good pizza crust. The following are my 3 current favorites. In the coming days I’ll provide you with a deep dish pan, a hand tossed crust, and my “I forgot to prepare this yesterday” generic crust that can be whipped up in 10 minutes for pizza emergencies. As I add crust recipes I’ll update here and link them all together.

First, lets start with a pan pizza. This is the closest I’ve found to that Pan Pizza from the Pizza Hut of the late 70s and early 80s and by far the most time consuming of the 3, but ironically the easiest. The recipe is from the folks at seriouseats.com and you can read and even watch a video of them preparing it here. They call it their Foolproof Pan Pizza Recipe. I’ll give you the cliff notes I keep saved in my recipe notes:

• 400 grams of flour (I use bread flour)
• 10 grams of salt
• 4 grams of yeast
• 275 grams of water (not warm)
• 8 grams of oil.

For best consistent results, use grams in your measurements. Mix it all together briefly so that there is no dry flour left. No need to knead or mix it any further. Cover it with plastic wrap and let it sit for 8-24 hours. I generally like to let it sit overnight anywhere from 10-13 hours.

Pour the dough onto a flour covered workspace. At this point, you can make two 9-10 inch pizzas, or do what you will with it. For example, you can continue to make one and freeze the other half. I like to use half for my pan pizza and the other half for another pizza and breadsticks. To make 2 pizzas, divide the dough in half and ball it with your palms.

Pour a fair amount of olive oil into a 9 or 10 inch pan such as cake pan or cast iron skillet. Place the ball of dough into the pan, palm flatten it a little and turn it over to the other side and do the same thing, spinning it in the pan to make sure the oil goes everywhere. Cover and let it proof for 2 more hours. If freezing one, I’ll throw this “thick pancake” into a ziploc bag and put in freezer. The evening I intend to make a pan pizza, I pull it out in the morning and place in a oiled pan and let it sit all day. By the time I get home, it’s ready to continue.

After 2 hours of proofing, Preheat your home oven as high as you can. Some can go to 500, some 550. Mine goes to 550. Finger tap the dough to make sure all the bubbles are popped and that it conforms to the entire width of the pan. Spread at least ¾ cup of your favorite sauce over the entire surface – edge to edge. Like Serious Eats says, this is an extremely thirsty crust. Let it get sloppy. I put a small layer of cheese down first then add my toppings. Be more generous with a pan pizza than a regular one. It can take a lot of toppings. Finally, I put more cheese on top, maybe over a cup. Again, edge to edge. Don’t try to get that ring around your crust. I place my pepperonis on last, sprinkle with a pinch of salt and drop it in the oven for about 10 minutes, or until it looks good. All that sloppy sauce, cheese, and toppings will create little delicious crunchy morsels that only this method can provide. I like to top mine with some parmesan powder and a little bit of basil. Back in the old days at Pizza Hut, we called that Fairy Dust. Ready mixed in a shaker and went on every pizza.

Bonus Breadstick recipe: utilizing the above pan dough, I take a quarter of the dough after the overnight rising and pull and roll it out into something resembling a rectangle, throw some mozzarella in there and fold it over onto itself. Pinch the edges. Place on a greased pan. I take a rocker pizza cutter and cut the breadstick strips into it at this point. Carefully slide all the strips together because they will separate while cutting. Generously slather on a garlic/parmesan/butter mixture and let proof the same 2 hours as the pan. Bake with the pizza. I have both shelves in the middle 2 racks. The his and hers pizza on the bottom and breadsticks on the top. Monitor the breadsticks. They will finish before the pizza does. You’ll know when they are done. Once removed, I slather on more of the butter mixture so that it melts into the top and dust the top with parmesan cheese. Cut again along the previously cut lines and serve with a side of your favorite dip. I like to use whatever pizza sauce I am using with my pizza. Carol likes to dip hers in Ranch Dressing and crushed red pepper.

You can check out my easy pizza sauce here.

Pizza sauce should never be cooked prior to spreading on your pie. It gets cooked on the pie. Here is my easy recipe for a good pizza sauce that is very customizable. Change it how you like. The main ingredient is crushed or ground tomatoes. I find 6 in 1 Brand makes the best. If you can’t find that, try Centos. After that, any will do. Shoot. Even a good tomato sauce can work in a pinch. Halve the spices if using a 15-16 oz can.

• Crushed/ground tomato 28oz
• Tablespoon crushed basil
• Teaspoon garlic powder
• Tablespoon sugar
• Tablespoon fresh ground black pepper
• Salt to taste

Mix it up and let it sit for a couple hours or even overnight. Freezes well indefinitely.